The Letter You Should Have Given Your Ex

The Letter You Should Have Given Your Ex Photo via bluestockingguide.files.wordpress.com To The One Who Broke My Heart, I never said how I felt. I couldn’t because I was scared and unable to put my emotions into words. But I’m going to now, and you can’t run away or shield yourself against it. You owe me this much. My nights were spent shuffled beneath my bed sheets, crying; feeling lost; hopeless. The memories flooded and, all at once, destroyed me. I didn’t want to miss you. That sudden rush of sadness ran through my body, straight to my eyes that filled up when I realized how ignorant I was in our relationship. You were probably out, meeting new people and continuing on without any regret. While you lived happily without any ounce of guilt, I lived with ounces of alcohol, distracting the overwhelming emptiness that burned within me. I became comfortably numb. I craved the sound of my name coming from edge of your lips, while you enjoyed the rhythm of my endlessly breaking heart. I fell in love all over again every time your face lit up when you began talking about your favorite band, yet you were amused by the way my face abruptly lost its glow when our relationship fell apart. You shattered my heart into a million pieces. You watched with noticeable indifference as every last fragment fell to the floor. What destroyed me the most is you made me feel like you loved me with as much passion and selflessness that I provided to you with my love. But you had feasibly moved on before you even decided to give up on us. You probably found the toothbrush I kept in your bathroom and threw it away. When your iPod was on shuffle and my song came on, you hastily hit the next button. You didn’t want to think about meâ€"about what you did to me. The memory of me was simply another obstacle for you to avoid. I wish you would have fought harder. You made it seem so easy to walk away and move on. You flaunted it. Did it hurt you at all to see me after everything that happened? You couldn’t make eye contact with me and when you did, I hope you felt guilty. And a part of me still hopes you do. You probably think I never cared, because I fought with all my might to maintain my composure around you when you decided I wasn’t worth fighting for anymore. It took every inch of me to garner the strength to smile and pretend like I was okay. I could notâ€"and would notâ€"let you know that you affected me to such an extent. I couldn’t extend that recognition to you. Maybe because if I let you or anyone else see this, then I would know how deeply I was hurting. If I realized that, I would have become completely lost within myself. Everyone told me I would wake up one day and I wouldn’t love you or want you anymore, and I was never quite willing to believe them. I understand now. I accept that you aren’t apart of my life anymore. I need to let you go from my heart; free you from my anger. Through my interminable layers of brokenness, I still want you to be happyâ€"I hope you’re happy at this very moment. I wish I could ask you, but I can’t. We’re but strangers now. At the end of the day, I know you cared about me. I know there will always be a part of you that loves me. That’s why I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Take care of yourself. With no regrets, Me